2 posts out on the blogosphere have really touched me lately, so I also wanted to share them with you. One is from a fellow-"Troyalty"-resident, thought I haven't had the pleasure of personally meeting her, I enjoy her posts about our lovely City of Troy: American Troyalty. The other is a post from today from my good friend Ben Hoak from back home in KY (I'm a Bluegrass girl by birth). He's a foster parent & I love how he shares from his heart: Merchants of Hope. I hope you'll take the time to check them out. It's worth the time.
I have a draft saved entitled "The Waiting" which was intended to be all about the laborious, intensely painful time & process of waiting for our son to enter our life; but now that I actually have a moment to pause & finish hammering that post out, I'm struck with the realization that the closed door of pain & suffering we entered into and endured is not something I want to re-open & rehash. It's not because I don't wish to share the wonderful story of Asher's adoption journey with you, but rather, I don't think revisiting the pain is healthy. I know without a doubt that there are those of you who are currently in that room of pain, and I don't take that lightly. Suffice it for now for me to say: I've been there. It sucks. I truly feel your pain with you in a very tangible way. My heart wells up right now even as I write this & feels tight in my chest because I know how unbearable "The Waiting" is. Don't lose heart. Hang on & hang in there. I'm more than willing to open my pain up for you, just not here on this blog. I sincerely want you to email me if that's something you need, and I'll readily write back (cello.hannah@gmail.com). Otherwise, I'm just completely grateful for each day I spend with this Sunny son & I'm soaking the moments up not looking backwards but forward at what's yet to come.
That being said, what have we been so busy doing? (If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you many have seen some of these already) You know the saying about a picture's worth, so here goes:
I think you are perhaps wiser than I in choosing not to rehash painful memories. I know I've been in that position before and not made the same choice, only to later wish I had. I often say more than I should. I am just an open-book type person. *Not* giving full details, to me, feels deceptive or secretive. Not that it is. Just that that is how I feel about it. Censoring myself appropriately - not sharing personal details - does NOT come naturally. I'm not sure why. My parents are definitely not like that. No one else I know is, actually. Anyway. I admire your wisdom and strength in not only withholding wisely, but openly acknowledging that you are withholding and why. I think everyone needs to decide when to share and when to keep things private. And if going over old painful memories is going to cause trouble in your life (emotional or otherwise), than that's definitely a time to be very selective. So... all that to say: Good Job! :)
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